I always felt that finding “The One” was the one important part in life that couldn’t be achieved by mainly relying on intellect, hard work and dedication.

Looking back at my friend’s and my relationships, luck seemed to have played such an important role: flat-mate turning husband, friend’s colleague turning fiancé, car-sharing with a stranger who will eventually turn into your significant other, running into your big love at the gym or simply opening Tinder and swiping right at the right person at the right time. Now, age 33 and newly divorced, I want to test this assumption. Partly based out of curiosity and partly based on the wish to settle down. I want to have a family. At the same time, I’m very well aware that my education, career, and overall high expectations of the role of a partner have effectively qualified out a large pool of men that will either not be interested in dating someone like me or that I am ruling out.

If the most important choice in life is the choice of a life partner, why don’t we give the process to get there the same importance and structure we give other parts of our lives? Is there something we could learn from our approach to education, career, workouts etc? Maybe it’s time to not rely on luck alone. Maybe there are things we can do (or stop doing) to increase the odds? Going out there, even when we are tired or taking a chance and starting a conversation with a stranger, even if we are shy.

And could going on dates help us to not only to get to know other people, but getting to know ourselves better? Getting divorced after only a few years of marriage made me question the choices I made a lot, of course. Am I looking for the wrong things in a man? Do I even know what I’m looking for? How do I pick up on potential red flags? Am I un-dateable?

I hope that the 30 Dates in 30 Days Challenge will reveal some thoughts and learnings about myself, about men (or at least my view on them), relationships and dating more broadly that can be helpful for other women out there. I know that to achieve the goal we will have to get out of our comfort zone. It won’t always be pleasant, but this is how you learn and grow.

Lastly, if our stories will brighten up someone’s day, we’ll have achieved our goal as well. Life’s tough enough and dating can be stressful. When we decided to do the 30 Days Challenge I told Valentina that I can’t wait for the stories we’ll be able to tell a months from now. I am writing these lines at the very beginning of our challenge and couldn’t be more excited!